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TOPIC: Need some advice on how to repair friendship

Need some advice on how to repair friendship 26 Nov 2007 17:34 #2841

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I've been very hard on many of my friends and family in the past due to my PMDD times. :( I know many of the women who come here will be able to relate, which is why I feel comfortable posting this here.

Here's my situation, I have a long-time friend, 10 years plus. I would say she used to be one of my best friends during our college days, but with marriage and family we don't see each other very often anymore and even less so because the last time we spoke I wasn't feeling my best due to PMDD and accused her (actually I screamed at her) for not being there for me anymore and hung-up on her. That was 3 months ago and I haven't heard back from her at all, which proves she isn't there for me anymore. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of my over reaction to our disagreement, but wonder if the damage is done. We've had other disagreements before but we always seemed to agree to disagree.

I don't know how to approach my friend or how to apologize for being so irrational. Do I use my PMDD as an excuse or do I just say I wasn't feeling very good? Have any of you used your mood swings as an excuse? I think she probably thinks I'm crazy. I think I've lost my friend forever and don't think I can handle the rejection from her if she never wants to hear from me again. I just don't know. Should I write a letter or call.

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Need some advice on how to repair friendship 26 Nov 2007 21:44 #2842

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Oh Sunny,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend's lack of understanding, not so uncommon a situation.

This is my opinion, hopefully others will chime in with their thoughts. As we get older we tend to let go of many of our dearest friends for more reason than just being short on time from family obligations. Your friend shouldn't have to feel she's not living up to your idea of friendship just because she's not staying in touch. She might really be focusing on her family. Staying in touch on the phone or through a brief e-mail may all it takes to keep a friendship alive.

Now, I'm not certain what all transpired on your phone call, but I think if you write a nice note with apologies about your over reaction to the situation is all the explanation necessary. No need to go into detail of PMDD, you might mention a bad mood and she'll understand. Give her a day or so to receive your note in the mail and follow up with a phone call or invitation to lunch.

good luck...anyone else have any ideas for Sunny or with a similar situation?

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Need some advice on how to repair friendship 28 Nov 2007 14:47 #2843

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Debra,

I wrote a short note inside the Christmas card I sent to her, hopefully she will understand my reasons for my rude behavior. It seems though, every-time I enter the luteal phase many of the things I take for granted go haywire and the people who just annoy me slightly really start to get on my nerves. Even though I'm feeling better physically I still have a few lingering grey clouds hanging around my head. Do you think those will eventually depart the longer one stays on the diet regimen?

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Need some advice on how to repair friendship 20 Dec 2007 13:53 #2844

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Hi Sunny,

Sorry I didn't notice this until today,

Lingering symptoms do take a bit to recover from, normally 3 cycles or months. In your case, you'll have to always be on guard from gluten cross contamination or accidental ingestion. Occasional glutening will cause some temporary digestive problems that could cause shifts in mood.

Hang in there things will improve over time. The gluten-free diet is not easy in the beginning as you know and takes about a good 6 months to a year to feel like you really have a handle on things, it's a continual learning process. You seem to be doing very well.

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Need some advice on how to repair friendship 01 Dec 2009 13:03 #2845

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